Gottman Couple Therapy Method

Our approach to relationship counselling is influenced by the Gottman Method for Couples Counselling, which is an evidenced based approach to helping couples repair, rebuild, and rejuvenate their relationships. The Gottman Method was developed by Drs John and Julie Gottman in Seattle, WA (USA) and is based on 40 years of research examining characteristics of successful relationships. Their research followed more than 3500 couples. It taught them to predict with great accuracy (over 94%) whether a marriage would survive or have ended after 6 years. This research informed the theory of relationship functioning which underpins the Gottman Method.

Outcome research supports the Gottman Method, with couples reporting greater relationship satisfaction after counselling based on this method. It may also be useful for couples who do not feel that their conflict level is abnormal but would like to learn better ways to communicate with and support one another.

The Gottman Method aims to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.

The Theory Behind the Gottman Method

This approach to couples counselling focuses on assisting couples with increasing their understanding of how their relationship is functioning through examination of the relationship’s development since its inception, exploring what is working and what is not, and providing the necessary skills to make the desired changes to increase the overall quality of the relationship. The Gottman Method sees a healthy relationship as being represented by 8 levels:

Build love maps: This is the first floor of the Sound Relationship House and involves couples getting to know one another’s inner psychological worlds.
Share fondness and admiration: On this floor, couples learn to overtly express appreciation and respect for each other to strengthen their bond.
Turn towards, not away: This floor involves learning to notice when one’s partner is seeking attention, affection, and comfort and responding accordingly.
The positive perspective: This floor helps partners learn to see one another positively, enabling them to see errors as matters of circumstance, not failures of the individual.
Manage conflict: On this floor, couples learn to manage conflict through a three-step process. First, partners take each other’s feelings into account. Next, partners learn to discuss their problems. Finally, when a partner starts to feel overwhelmed during conflict, they learn techniques to self-soothe to keep their cool.
Make life dreams come true: The second to last floor centers on supporting and championing one’s partner in their dreams and goals.
Create shared meaning: The top floor mirrors the first floor in that it involves understanding an inner world, but in this case, it’s the couple’s inner world and entails uncovering the rituals and stories that have shared meaning for them.
Trust and commitment: The two weight-bearing walls of the Sound Relationship House help couples work through the seven floors. Trust enables couples to believe they can rely on one another and feel like they’re a team, and commitment means couples have agreed to stick together and improve their relationship.

Clearly, each floor of the Sound Relationship House represents an opportunity for couples to develop new skills that will strengthen their relationship. Gottman therapists use this theory to drive their work with couples.

Given The Gottman Method takes this as its focus, it can help with a wide array of relationship issues, from frequent arguing to infidelity and emotional distance, which may seem unique but at their core are often the result of perpetual conflicts.

The Gottman Method can even help couples who don’t feel their level of conflict is problematic but are looking to understand their relationship better. The therapy is designed to help people at any stage of their relationship and regardless of race, class, or cultural identity.

Moreover, learning these steps will help couples in the long term. Even after therapy, they can continue to apply these skills and techniques, preventing them from falling back into their former negative patterns.

What Are the Issues That May Be Addressed in Therapy?

Some of the relationship issues that may be addressed in therapy include:

Frequent conflict and arguments
Poor communication
Emotionally distanced couples on the verge of separation
Specific problems such as sexual difficulties, infidelity, money, and parenting

What to Expect with the Gottman Method

The first 3 sessions in the Gottman Method Couple Therapy focus on assessing relationship history, relationship satisfaction, individual backgrounds, current issues, friendship and intimacy, conflict management, shared goals and values, marriage, children, finance and patterns of conflict management.

You will be invited to complete online Gottman Questionnaire between the second and third sessions and be given an overview of the Gottman approach. In essence, the main areas of treatment are conflict, friendship, intimacy, values, trust and commitment.

The Gottman couple therapist speaks with each member of the couple individually. Together, this will enable the therapist to form a thorough picture of the relationship that they can then use to provide feedback to the couple on the stability of their partnership and decide on the interventions that will be most valuable to the couple.

Online Gottman Couple Therapy Australia | Relationship/Marriage Counselling & Therapy

We are trained in Gottman couple therapy method. You can contact us on (08) 7079 9529 or email admin@sehatpsychology.com.au to book an appointment (telehealth or face to face) with our Gottman couple therapist.

Gottman Couple Therapy Adelaide | Adelaide Psychologists & Therapists

We take an approach to relationship counselling that is influenced by the Gottman Method for Couples Counselling, a proven and effective approach for helping couples.